I was the same way, Trudie, always finding something/someone to blame. I wrote about my experience in growing up (but without the advantage of your spite guides) a few months ago.

https://medium.com/illumination/how-i-learned-to-stopped-blaming-other-people-for-everything-that-went-wrong-in-my-life-8f654fafb88b

And agree completely on your take that we get what we attract in life. It couldn't, in my experience, be truer.

Which is why it's said, 'be careful what you wish for, you just might get it'.

This is a good story, thanks for sharing!